The year of the tiger.
The year when MADMONQ evolves
The year when EVERYTHING changes …
By now, you know very well we don’t do small stuff. We don’t do flavors. Or discounts. And when we launch merch, it is either freaking baseball bats, gaming socks or shorts with 8+ tech features.
Big innovation is a part of our DNA and an integral part of our mission. We believe that without progress, there is stagnation. And stagnation is death.
Our deepest desire is to create products that will help you with YOUR progress, whatever it may be. We want you to win and succeed. We want you to crush it.
And our role in this? Simpler than getting a date with your mom: Creating products that will enable you to be your best self.
The new era is here. For us, for you, for your mom, for gaming, for everyone.
And as is customary, with new era come innovations. Many innovations.
Without further ado, let’s get to it.
More natural ingredients. Better reactions. Surgical precision.
2022 was going to be a BIG year for us and so was our new product. We knew we had to overdo ourselves this year yet again.
“MADMONQ version 2.0 was packed already. So it was a challenge to find something highly functional that would not take up that much space. We searched everywhere until we found it. And this … this is going to be a real gamechanger.” – Michal, founder.
Roll out the red carpet, BRAINBERRY® is coming.
Dear reader, this is Brainberry®,Brainberry® this is our blog reader.
Let’s get to know each other.
Brainberry® is the most important addition to this year’s MADMONQ® upgrade. A new player on the field that is determined to change the game on the front of speed and accuracy.
It is a hero’s extract from Aronia melanocarpa (something you’d very likely find roaming Skellige in Witcher 3) is one of the few ingredients in the world that is actually tested and researched on real gamers.
But what does it do exactly?
Cultivated in the Nordics and Baltics, this compound is rich in Cyanidin-3-O-galactosides that readily cross the blood-brain barrier and systematically enhance the brain perfusion and increase the oxygen uptake.
Being known for its super potent antioxidant properties, Brainberry® was put to test in gamers to showcase its unique ability to enhance the processes between the brain, eyes, and hands.
Or, as we call it, THE GOLDEN TRIANGLE.
Upgrade reactions while at the same time improving precision and accuracy? Shut up and take our money.
65 milligrams of this super potent extract will ensure you’ll manage to catch a cup of tea even before it falls. Please don’t try it.
So what about THE TASTE?
MADMONQ 3.0 is our tastiest tablet by far.
We reworked the taste from the ground up. Went through tens of iterations only to arrive at the perfect blend of wildberries, raspberries and vanilla. The active ingredients give it a MADMONQ specific flavour only to leave the previous versions in dust. The complete philharmony of taste so EPIC we’re afraid Hans Zimmer will use it as a soundtrack in Dune 2.
Another active ingredient is a specific Lemon balm extract that was picked for its fierce ability to fight against stress and anxiety.
Extremely well known for the multitude of other health benefits, Lemon balm’s most notable achievements span sleep quality, improved cognitive functions, mood and igestions.
Is there something better than victory? Yes, victory with an ice-cold smile on your face.
There are a whole bunch of other small edits (such as exchanging Choline with Vitacholine®).
But more on that next time.
The symbol of nature, science, and gaming.
The feeling when you fall in love at a first sight.
We experienced it again when we realized the power and beauty of the hexagon. Don’t get us wrong, we always liked it. But it was only when we got to know it better and utilized it within the MADMONQ ecosystem, that we went head over heels for it.
We know exactly why bees, scientists, and Blockbusters contestants are so excited about hexagons. And we know you will see it too.
We would go so far with our predictions to say that hexagons will replace the almighty rhombus on school desks.
People will have hexagon-shaped haircuts, and Tyrannosaurus Rex will apply for a name change to…. Tyrannosaurus Hex.
The new era is here. We told you.
The ALL-NEW shape of the tablet
We risked our lives (no exaggeration) to make sure you put only the best shape into your mouth. And yes, we are still talking about our tablets.
It was a long journey from the idea to a real physical tablet.
We 3D printed and sucked on many different kinds of shapes and textures only to be pointed out by our CEO Michal that some of the 3D printed materials are very toxic or even poisonous.
But we lived and continued on our mission to convince the manufacturers that HEXAGONS are the way and standard oval shaped tablets are the thing of the past.
“IT JUST WON’T WORK” – we heard over and over again.
We endlessly tried to convince the manufacturer, who were also convinced that a tablet can’t be this sexy and still hold together with all that natural ingredients inside.
THEY WERE WRONG.
Giving up is not really our thing. When we put our minds to something, we usually get it done. And we expect the same from you.
MADMONQ® and MADMONQ® CHAMPION are now hexagonal, proudly wearing symbols linked to their powers.
And trust us.Once you suck on a hexagon, you’ll never want to go back to sucking anything else.
CLICK-CLACK. That was the sound of the new bottle!
- Swedish functional design
- Comfortable grip
- Unique click-clack system (to be really sure it’s closed properly)
- Improved protection with a tighter cap
From North to the South Pole. Across mountains, deserts, and oceans. Around the entire world, we searched for a bottle that would be special, fit well in the hand, and give the best possible protection for our freshly minted sexygonal tablets.
Triangular shape fits perfectly into the palm of your hand and its unique aesthetics are a tasteful addition to both gaming and office set-ups. Hand on your heart (not this one, the other one, the one that doesn’t hold the new bottle), who wouldn’t want to have a piece of art on their desk?
If you’re an ASMR lover, you’ll love the new click-clack system. That clicking sound is a balm for your soul and ears. And for the tablets, too. Take it for a spin, hear the click and you’re in another world. The world where your hexagonal tablets are PERFECTLY sealed from their arch enemy – moisture – and other environmental influences.
New bottles are now the new home to both MADMONQ® and MADMONQ® CHAMPION tablets.
So, let’s do a little recap.
- New MADMONQ® 3.0 with Brainberry®
- New design
- New hexagonal tablet shape
- New upgraded triangular bottle
- New era of gaming
And there’s much more to come.
But we can’t give away all our secrets on the first (third?) date, right? So, stay tuned.
THE NEW ERA IS BEGINNING, AND WE’D BE HONORED TO HAVE YOU ENTER IT WITH US, CHAMPION.
Epic News Department,